Budget, credit, finances, frustration, goal, mood, planning

Transparency week 12

So the budget has been pretty much screwed but I have been trying to get a hold on it.
Last week I was hit with a garnishment for $370 from a Vet bill which I thought was paid off 2 years ago. I had an automatic payment which seems to draft whenever instead of when scheduled and the vendor claims its my fault, like huh? So just trying to get past the frustration since its almost paid off.
I was able to get 3 erroneous delinquent tradelines removed from my credit report, so on track to raise my score for the home purchase in 2yrs.

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Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

Blog, Family, frustration, mood, relationships

Back to normal???

I haven’t been blogging due to:

-coming to terms with getting a divorce we didn’t want but was needed due to circumstances
-coming to terms that all grew up knowing and what I thought shaped me was now causing conflict in my heart

But after reading through some emails today, the @candidbelle reminded me that life will continue to throw things my way and my faith and determination will sustain me regardless. So I will get back to my original purpose which is to document my journey, good and not so good.

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Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

BiPolar, Blog, Family, frustration, love, mood, relationships

Helpless

I anticipated my first two weeks of March being hard, especially with the recent separation, birthday (12th), filing for divorce (13th) and anniversary (15th) all in the next two weeks.
But also having another issue come up, is threatening my mental health. I am confused on my next steps and if I am projecting or legitimately pissed.
I have been praying for guidance, peace, and clarity all weekend but I keep coming back to a need to declare war on my family, that will not end well for us. I’ve grown up with a sense of self, family, and faith that in the last year continuously gets trampled in the vain to keep the peace and I am over it. I have to take a stand and do what I feel is best, I doubt I fail but am willing of it beings some resolution and possibly fixes things.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

BiPolar, Family, grief, love, mood, relationships

This too shall pass

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I know in real life its not a failure, but in my heart it is. I’m thankful for those who see me as someone strong, I have a coworker who always remarks on how she admires me, how strong she thinks I am at work. It inspires me in the times when I’m literally crying for my mommy. I also appreciate my mom and sister in law who have silently supported me by being present if I need them.
As my mom said tonight, this too shall pass and I do know that, I am letting go of something wonderful for a greater purpose since I the ultimate daddy’s girl know what that relationship means.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

Blog, Budget, down payment, Family, love, mood, planning, relationships

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Today was a snow day, not really it was a paid holiday, President’s Day. Around 1pm it started snowing, first real snow since 2009. Its been a quiet day, grateful for that. Thinking of working from home tomorrow, keeping busy to keep my mind of missing my friend.
Had my 1st meeting with my financial planner today, super excited. His timeline is was more planned than mine so gotta sync that, 2020 is not the move date, lol.
No new hives today but still have old ones that are itchy.
I am grateful and still going.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

BiPolar, Blog, frustration, mood

Manic Monday…..

I’ve been wrestling with the amount of transparency to share in regards to everything on my blog. I’m an open book but how do I express when I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally struggling in other areas?
So I’ve been quiet, allowing my emotions to get the best of me, and just praying. But today, my AHA moment came when, I had to hear the doctor tell me that my stress was causing my health issue, and had to back on meds. That was like a ton of bricks for me. Money has never been a move for me, as long as I can sustain my lifestyle which is far from extravagant I’m happy.
Plus I was letting someone steal my joy,  and make me feel less than, not my style.

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Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

BiPolar, Blog, frustration, mood

Ah ha moment

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I realized today that, not feeling well and ignoring it was a precipitating factor in my reaction to the criticism that should’ve been routine. I have had so much going on that Ive ignored some major signs but its time to get back on my grind. I’ve never been weak and I don’t plan to let some petty people get me out my square.

Thanks to prayer, and taking the time, I refocused myself. I will be better on all fronts.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW