Budget, credit, finances, frustration, goal, mood, planning

Transparency week 12

So the budget has been pretty much screwed but I have been trying to get a hold on it.
Last week I was hit with a garnishment for $370 from a Vet bill which I thought was paid off 2 years ago. I had an automatic payment which seems to draft whenever instead of when scheduled and the vendor claims its my fault, like huh? So just trying to get past the frustration since its almost paid off.
I was able to get 3 erroneous delinquent tradelines removed from my credit report, so on track to raise my score for the home purchase in 2yrs.


Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

Blog, Family, frustration, mood, relationships

Back to normal???

I haven’t been blogging due to:

-coming to terms with getting a divorce we didn’t want but was needed due to circumstances
-coming to terms that all grew up knowing and what I thought shaped me was now causing conflict in my heart

But after reading through some emails today, the @candidbelle reminded me that life will continue to throw things my way and my faith and determination will sustain me regardless. So I will get back to my original purpose which is to document my journey, good and not so good.


Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

BiPolar, Blog, Family, frustration, love, mood, relationships


I anticipated my first two weeks of March being hard, especially with the recent separation, birthday (12th), filing for divorce (13th) and anniversary (15th) all in the next two weeks.
But also having another issue come up, is threatening my mental health. I am confused on my next steps and if I am projecting or legitimately pissed.
I have been praying for guidance, peace, and clarity all weekend but I keep coming back to a need to declare war on my family, that will not end well for us. I’ve grown up with a sense of self, family, and faith that in the last year continuously gets trampled in the vain to keep the peace and I am over it. I have to take a stand and do what I feel is best, I doubt I fail but am willing of it beings some resolution and possibly fixes things.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

BiPolar, Blog, frustration, mood

Manic Monday…..

I’ve been wrestling with the amount of transparency to share in regards to everything on my blog. I’m an open book but how do I express when I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally struggling in other areas?
So I’ve been quiet, allowing my emotions to get the best of me, and just praying. But today, my AHA moment came when, I had to hear the doctor tell me that my stress was causing my health issue, and had to back on meds. That was like a ton of bricks for me. Money has never been a move for me, as long as I can sustain my lifestyle which is far from extravagant I’m happy.
Plus I was letting someone steal my joy,  and make me feel less than, not my style.


Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

BiPolar, Blog, frustration, mood

Ah ha moment


I realized today that, not feeling well and ignoring it was a precipitating factor in my reaction to the criticism that should’ve been routine. I have had so much going on that Ive ignored some major signs but its time to get back on my grind. I’ve never been weak and I don’t plan to let some petty people get me out my square.

Thanks to prayer, and taking the time, I refocused myself. I will be better on all fronts.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

Blog, Budget, Family, finances, frustration, goal, mood

Transparency week 4

To Do List


  • Finalize Logo Design
  • Implement Email Newsletter Sign Up on Blog
  • Dedicate at least an hour to learning more about WordPress, Themes, Design, Etc

Real Worldwpid-img_20150123_182200.jpg

  • Take Amia to see Selma on MLK, to impress upon her why she needs to be more appreciative of things
  • Organize my time better to ensure I am resting properly
  • Don’t sweat Every detail, BREATHE!



  • SNAG-2Meal Plan
  • Stay out of Grocery Store or have a list when going
  • Use Envelope system for Dining budget, too easy to lose track with debit card

Take Aways…..

I thought I was doing better but I guess after tallying up my spreadsheet for the week, my absent minded debit card usage has gotten away from me. So readjusting for the next week to see where I can make up some of this spending and put towards my savings goal.

Due to Amia’s behavior, her funds will be going towards savings for the time being.  I have contacted several resources to see about services to help stabilize her mood. Being proactive in contacting school regularly to stay up to date with her behavior. Her mood is putting extra pressure on me to do more in the home because she refuses to help out, so have to be mindful that we all have moods and just plan accordingly. I do hate washing dishes though, lol

Onward and Upward, I am not deterred

2015 Happy New Year

BiPolar, Blog, Family, frustration, love, Mom, mood, relationships


Didn’t sleep too well, but already put plan into place for Amia. Had conference call with her case manager, this morning, who also has been concerned all week by recent behavior as well. Came to conclusion by comparing notes that Amia needs some additional services in place. I wanted to support her and not force her to be healthy, but her behavior is justifying my actions.

She is manic. The lack of concern for consequences, the dishonesty, the deception, will just continue to escalate. I’m hoping for the best as we try to head off a major episode. And praying it doesn’t affect my mood stability as well.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW