BiPolar, bipolar, blog, extended, mood, relationships, Uncategorized

No Stigma in my vicinity #bipolar


repost via @instarepost20 from @rockervet  Regram from @redwolfjewelry
I am one of the many afflicated with Bipolar Disorder. Those with any mental disorder need understanding and encouragement not judgement and stigmas.

I recently had the pleasure of assisting an associate,  who until last week was unaware that I have Bipolar Disorder, he happened to notice my tattoo on my wrist. Upon further conversation as to why in the world I would tattoo the word “bipolar :): ” on my wrist he admitted that he himself had been diagnosed in 2006 but no one knew. He was afraid to discuss for fear that his friends and family would call him “CRAZY’.

I personally decided to be more open, and advocate because of my daughter. She deserves to have a life, not be treated as if she is less than because of something that is a part of her, not her WHOLE. I have been blessed to be able to have a full time job I love, where they are aware and supportive of my disorder. My daughter has also learned to advocate for herself and make friends and associates aware. All these little things, eventually add up and mental health disorders will not have a stigma where people feel the need to hide in fear and suffer, but live out loud and get the support they sometimes needs.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

bipolar, blog, Family, frustration, mood, spending

Ah Can I start over??

So 2nd day of the year and I had so many failures.
I had a crisis at home, so didn’t get to bed until 5am, overslept till 10:30 and today was a scheduled 10hr day. It also was gas day and renew my annual badge day, so didn’t arrive at my desk until 11:30am.
I was immediately overwhelmed, then commenced to being productive, mind got to racing and I compensated by spending money. I worked until 5pm, then attempted to grocery shop, why?? I was hungry and set on something so went to 4 different stores, over spent and was frustrated when finally arriving home. So now I have to work 4 more hours before i can enjoy my weekend.
Gotta rework my budget and change my routine.

Posted from WordPress for Android by NDW

BiPolar, bipolar, Family, love, parenting, relationships

Just learn from my example, please…..

imagesSo how do you get someone to understand when they are not ready to do something you don’t agree with because of experience?

This has been a long debate in my household because I was rigidly raised to be a person who responsibly managed my life before adding to it, so basically I wasn’t allowed to date until I was older. So while I didn’t take it as far as my mother would like, not dating until 30, I did manage to:

  • attend church regularly (raised as Jehovah’s Witness, so 3 times a week plus field service),
  • have a job,
  • maintain acceptable grades,
  • and maintain family time (large extended family)

ALL before a boyfriend was even discussed, (now in the interest of full disclosure, I did have behind the scenes interactions unbeknownst to my parents, but my standards were still met) so my first official boyfriend was at the age of 17.

So fast forward, how do you effectively manage a mental diagnosis, youth, and the desire to have a boyfriend? I wasn’t diagnosed until 30 but my daughter who is now 13 years old wants to date. I don’t agree and she is aware, but I have decided to remain neutral to see how things go since she has only recently been stable. I don’t want to be overprotective and not allow her to live because of her diagnosis but I also have to be mindful that the least little emotional thing could send us back to square 1.

How do I be supportive but get her to realize that in the present time frame while its cute and fun, its also very emotional as a young adult navigating a relationship?



BiPolar, bipolar, frustration, marriage

Emotional Rollercoaster

Marriage is ____________ insert any adjective in the dictionary, I can say in the few months of being married I have felt the gamut of emotions and its actual WORK!

I have never done anything that frustrates and motivates me at the same time in life, and I am a parent to two daughters. I thought waiting till I was older and more settled, till the girls were older and didn’t need as much would have made the transition better but BOY was I wrong. I am having an unusual emotional phase this winter for some reason and require a little more from the spouse than usual and he is just not showing up. I am praying for guidance and to continue to put in the work but I am lost right now. I have so much swirling in my head and my usual comfort zone, my spouse, seems to be on my hit list as well. I know my emotions are in my head and he probably hasn’t done anything but after 10 years, why can’t he know how to evade and/or not make worse issues when I am in this state. I feel so conflicted and tired, I am barely focused on anything, which I hate, guess it’s time to try to use my own coping methods to get back to my right state, before making decisions that I will regret.

I have reached out to get an appointment setup to see doctor.